Mourn

                -after Rejoice by Julien Baker

My whole family, an empty table, 

sitting together, watching the news 

on Mom’s birthday, it says I’m evil.

Cried in the car alone on Jubilee.

Call the hotline, curse her name

‘cause I know I’m still alive.

Gave me everything and I threw it in her face.

I wish I believed, but I can’t stand the questions,

panic attacks, singing in Chapel.

I know there’s no God, 

He wouldn’t listen anyway.

I mourn and lament 

I will never love the right way.

And I know there’s no God, 

He wouldn’t listen anyway,

but I mourn and lament, 

curse the day I was born.

And nobody’s there to hear me ask

the memory of my mother when I cry 

asking, “Why did you make me leave 

and never say goodbye?” 

Know my name and nothing more.

I mourn, I mourn

I mourn, I mourn

Emma Gail Compton